The Worst Island in the World

Allow me to preface by saying, I'm not much of an “Island guy”. I'm just not a fan. Some might say i'm getting old, but i'm never liked them. I don't get the point to sitting around all day on a beach collecting cancer rays while some guy in a safari hat brings you fruity drinks served in a coconut with paraphernalia dangling over the side. That's not what i like in travelling. Generally speaking beaches lack any decent architecture. There's rarely interesting history. While the seafood might be good, it's all they serve. Not to mention tonnes of backpackers, holidayers and the like inflating local prices. I die in places where all there is to do is drink and sleep. I prefer to heighten my senses while travelling, not deaden them. BUT... there have been a few special islands i have found around the world that keep me trying. A recent visit to Caye Caulker has me on a bit of an island high. I loved it. Great Island. But for every island like Caye Caulker, there's a place like Utila. I may dislike most islands, but i hate Utila.

For years i had heard how great the Bay Islands of Honduras were. Roatan was a very special island, years ago. As places like that tend to go, they overbuild. They get super popular and like most resort-type places, they get touristic. So instead of going to Roatan, i opted for Roatans baby sister, Utlia. Utila is smaller island. It's a less developed island. And it's a quieter island. Plus, it's the cheaper island. At least that's what everyone told me. So i was heading into the islands expecting something special. But from the get-go Utila pissed me off. Firstly, the ferry terminal on the mainland in La Ceiba is miles out of town. You have to take a taxi there. To far to walk and there don't seem to be any buses. Then, comes the ferry ticket. The 1-hourish ride to the islands is over $20! And there are no connections (except private boats) between the 2 islands. Ridiculous! And the ride isn't a pretty one. 3 backpackers lost their lunches on the ride and i was told it was a “good” day. And there's only 2 a day with the possibility of the second one getting cancelled. It's almost as if they don't want visitors.

Once you get to the island, things don't get better. Whereas in Caye Caulker the “streets” are sand, on Utila everything is paved. Caye Caulker has electric golf scooters and bicycles, Utlia has gas powered 4X4s and motorcycles. In Caye Caulker you walk along the seaside most of the time, on Utila you walk beside open gutters/sewers not even able to see the sea. I guess open sewers are fine, except remember there are paved roads and motor vehicles. At night the poorly lit streets are overflowing with vehicles whose driver have had at least a few drinks. It's a recipe for disaster where the best case scenario is falling into sewage. Not relaxing at all. On Caye Caulker there are several choices for cheap local food as well as expensive tourist food, on Utila even the stalls overcharge. And while neither island really has any beaches, the “beaches” on Utila are very unattractive and smell bad. Although the shore snokling is better on Utila, there is a very healthy population of sea urchins, which might be keeping the local clinic in business. Everyday you see tourists being treated for urchin stings. All this might be enough to turn you off, but i haven't even got to the worst part. SAND FLIES! Freakin' little bitting insects rule the island. While i have seen worse in places like Milford Sound, New Zealand, the abundance here certainly makes a short list of nominees. Sand fly bites hurt, the itch for a million years and the red stays for ages. I have nothing positive to say about Utila.

Ok, the diving is cheap. And it's above average compared on a global scale. But the diving would have to be absolutely astounding for me to even consider visiting a place like Utila again. Even then, i probably wouldn't go. Maybe i made the wrong choice. Perhaps i should have paid more to stay on Roatan. That's my mistake. But i wasn't willing to gamble another $40 worth of ferry tickets to see if it was any better. I'm sure there are people out there who have been to Utila and absolutely loved it. I've spoken to many which partly gave me the motivation to visit. But for me, Utila wins my “worst island in the world” award without any question.